I was on a flight from Orlando to Houston on Tuesday evening, sitting in my regular bulk head aisle seat working on my laptop – just minding my own business, not paying attention to anyone. I was almost done with my project and was in complete task mode. Then it happened. I initially felt the cold sensation on my right arm and rib area. Then I noticed my keyboard had a bunch of brown liquid on it. Finally, it soaked through my jeans. What just happened? At first I didn’t care – I just wanted to dry my keyboard and started doing so with my shirt (luckily I was wearing a cheap Gap t-shirt) before the flight attendant rushed over with a handful of napkins. Then I realized what happened: As the flight attendant was collecting garbage, the little girl across the aisle from me threw her full cup of soda and missed. She missed so badly that the cup shot over the garbage and landing on me. I was pissed, and here’s what happened next…
I looked over for some type of apology or acknowledgment. She just looked at me and said nothing. “Don’t’ give me that ‘I’m only six’ routine, Honey.” I looked immediately at her mother in the middle seat and got nothing. I didn’t say anything. (My wife just had a sigh of relief because she is hearing this story for the first time, and one of her most common phrases to me is “don’t say anything”. What can I say? I’m a sales consultant – I believe conflict is important to human interactions.) Nope, I just dried off myself and my laptop.
After about 40 seconds, the mother started saying something and I realized she was talking to me. “I’ll replace anything that was damaged. Sir... I’ll replace anything that was damaged. Sir…” I looked up and saw a mom who was exhausted. She probably just spent many days at the theme parks in Orlando with two kids (the other was about the same age sitting by the window). I saw a woman that probably would’ve struggled replacing my Gap t-shirt, much less my laptop. I saw a woman who cared. I saw a woman who loved her two children and besides the air ball shot by her daughter, they were well behaved kids.
After absorbing this moment and holding her glance for a second or two, I smiled and said “Nothing’s damaged. My computer is fine and this will come out in the laundry.” After looking away and pausing, I caught her eyes again and said very calmly and sincerely: “Thank you.” She knew what I meant.
I was reminded on two lessons in life on Tuesday evening:
- Stop being a jerk. I just assumed that these were bad kids being raised by a mother who didn’t take any accountability. I envisioned my daughter in 30 years working 60 hours per week to support her stupid kids. I made all of these judgments and visions within 40 seconds or so. In reality, the little girl was just having fun and made a mistake. The mother was probably paying attention to her other child when her daughter soaked me. In fact, the only way she knew about the incident was because her daughter admitted it to her.
- Simply acknowledging and taking ownership of a mistake will disarm just about anybody. I didn’t care about my clothes and my laptop is fine – I knew it would be fine right away. I just wanted someone to say “I’m sorry”. At the very moment the mother acknowledged the incident, my guard went down and my mood was one of gratitude, not anger.
Unfortunately, I’ll forget these two lessons by Saturday afternoon, but that’s the beauty of life – it’ll bring me more and more lessons to remind me to stop being a jerk, acknowledge my mistakes, and a million other things. It’s up to me to listen.
