One night in the fall of 1994, I was enjoying an appetizer at a hotel lobby in Winston Salem, NC – I think it was a Courtyard Marriott. I had ordered some wings from a pizza place and met the delivery person in the lobby. Instead of going back upstairs, I decided to hang out in the lobby and enjoy my wings. I had no idea of the impact of this decision.
A few minutes later, three or four guys sat down near me with a 12-pack of beer. They weren’t loud or boisterous. In fact, I wouldn’t have noticed them if one of them hadn’t been carrying the 12-pack. I found it refreshingly weird for a few business men – especially for a young professional and new traveler like I was. It wasn’t the beer, but the conversation on which I eavesdropped that stuck in my memory. One of the guys told a story to the group, and that one story taught me a lesson that has helped me endure dozens of tough patches over the last 22 years. It was a story about a coincidental encounter he had with Tony Robbins… on a bad day. Not the legendary persona we all love or hate, but a Tony Robbins that was acting like anyone else after a long day. Here’s the story, paraphrased after 22 years …
A few months earlier, this guy (let’s call him David – he looked like a David) was checking into a hotel after midnight, and there was Tony doing the same thing. They walked to the elevator together, and this guy couldn’t hold himself back. He introduced himself: “Hi, my name is David. I love your work. I’ve read Unlimited Power and Awaken the Giant Within.” Tony replied: “David, I don’t mean to be rude, but it’s been an exhausting day. Every now and then, a day comes along that beats you. I’ve learned to let it win and save my energy for tomorrow. Today was one of those days.” He then looked forward at the inside of the elevator doors in despair.
(There is a cool ending to David’s story that I share at the end of the post.)
I’m not a Tony Robbins disciple, but I like some of his material and think his presence on stage is mythical. I’ve read Awaken the Giant Within, but none of his other work. I don’t love or hate him. He seems like a cool guy that has helped millions of people live better lives. However, I owe my surrender technique to him … and David. While we’re giving credit, to the delivery guy that didn’t want to bring the wings to my room, too. My surrender technique has gotten me through many exhausting days. Here’s how it works…
When a day can’t be turned around or won emotionally, then I surrender and wait for tomorrow. I state these words out loud to myself: “I surrender today. See you tomorrow.” Depending on one’s age and personality, this could be dangerous. You may not want to teach a six year-old or an alcoholic this technique. However, for most of you reading this blog, it’s gold. It’s rare that I use my surrender technique, but when I do, it’s magical. In fact, I can’t remember using since February of last year – almost 18 months ago. Boy, I needed it that day…
In the same day, a retained client of mine decided to hire a Vice President of Sales and gave notice to end my engagement, and another project got cancelled because the CFO decided that their GM should be able to perform the duties in house for which they were hiring my company. I don’t unexpectedly lose contracts – ever. That day, I lost two. When I arrived home that evening, I realized that I just caught a cold … and that’s when I surrendered. The rest of the night, I let it go. I wasn’t overjoyed, but I relaxed and was prepared and energized the next day. If I hadn’t surrendered, I would’ve stayed up all night trying to figure out how to replace that revenue, I would’ve gotten sicker, and I would’ve been exhausted the next day … only to repeat the pattern. Instead, I surrendered, and it made all the difference.
I’ve probably had 20 or so days like this since eating those wings in 1994, and I fully believe that I would not have been able to handle those tomorrows as well if I didn’t surrender.
BTW, in the Robbins story above, Tony asked David for his business card before he got off the elevator. Even though he was in a grouchy mood, he said: “David – give me a business card”. A couple weeks later, a signed copy of one of his books arrived at David’s office with a nice note apologizing for his bad mood. Like I said … seems like a cool guy.
