I heard a speech one time about saying “yes”. The message was to accept when asked to do something, and watch the world open to you. The presentation was well done and made an impact on me – primarily because I could relate real-life scenarios to me saying “yes”. A couple examples:
- A friend of mine wanted to leave early to an event one night so he could stop by a birthday party. He asked if I’d come along with him and I said “yes”. I met my wife at that birthday party.
- At the last minute, I filled in for an open speaking slot at a Toastmasters meeting. Since the request was at the very last minute, I spoke about my job as a sales leader in technology – something on which I was familiar. Later that day, a gentleman in the audience was having lunch with one of his clients that was searching for someone with sales management experience that understands technology, but “not a geek”. He made the introduction and after a couple months of discussions, I officially entered the electronic security industry.
I could go on and on about saying “yes”. I’m sure you’ve got dozens of similar stories. However, I believe this concept of saying “yes” keeps us from making strides each year. I believe it diminishes our ability to create reasonable and helpful resolutions. In fact, I believe the greatest New Year’s Resolution most of you can make for 2017 is completely the opposite. In my opinion the greatest New Year’s Resolution you can make is…
Say “NO”.
Yep, that’s right … say “no” to any new commitments in 2017. I took on this resolution this year, and it worked wonders. In every possible area of performance, we had our best year at Vector Firm. I travelled about 20% more this year than last year, but I feel like I spent more time and had more emotional engagement with my wife and daughter this year. I was fully engrossed in the activity to which I had already committed – not running from task to task all the time barely keeping ahead of the game. I had more fun.
This is an easy suggestion to make, but hard to execute. Below are some strategies I put into place that helped me along the way.
- Learn who to disappoint. I knew I was going to disappoint people. The secret was learning who I could disappoint and who I couldn’t disappoint, and realizing that it changes. For example, I’d rather not disappoint my daughter. However, I had to miss a Thanksgiving banquet at her school because of a work event in Dallas – she had to be disappointed (and so did I). However, if I’m wrapping up emails at home while my daughter wants to have tea time, then guess what? Email gets delayed.
- Don’t confuse saying “no” with being irresponsible. If you’ve already committed to something, do it. This resolution is about saying “no” to new commitments.
- Communicate, communicate, communicate. Let others know why you’re saying “no” by simply telling them: “I’m flattered and would love to, but right now I’m too busy and wouldn’t do a very good job.” Don’t do this by email – call or share in person. BTW, don’t get into the whole resolution thing – just make the above statement and you’ll be fine. Be prepared though – they’ll keep asking.
- If you really want to say “yes” to an invitation, be prepared to drop something else. I was honored this summer to be asked to serve on the Education Board of my international fraternity. However, I committed to saying “no” this entire year. When I expressed that I’d love to join the board, but couldn’t engage fully until the new year, they were completely accepting to it.
- Get comfortable with doing nothing. I used to get uneasy on a Saturdayafternoon with nothing to do. Since I started saying “no”, I’ve had to remind myself that it’s these lazy times that recharge our batteries for the rest of the week.
So, that’s it. Don’t play more tennis, or see more friends, or join that organization. For this one year, make your resolution simple: Say “NO”.
