About 20 years ago I was going through a break-up with a girlfriend. I was having the typical experiences that most people have when moving through this process – it all typically sucks! One day I received a voicemail from Rick Wells, a college fraternity brother. Rick was a former football player for the Florida Gators, former president of our fraternity, and maybe the most uninhibited person I’ve ever met. Rick and I didn’t always agree on matters; nor did we agree on tone, style, position, strategy, or anything that had to do with human interaction. We got along because we both had an affection for each other, but our differences never allowed us to be close. Naturally, we moved in separate directions after college and didn’t keep in touch. So when I heard his voice, I was surprised … then touched … then I found myself laughing and knew I’d remember his sentiment forever. This is what his voicemail message said...
“Chris, Rick Wells here. I heard you and your girlfriend broke up. I’m sorry, I forget her name. What the hell was her name? You know what – it doesn’t matter. She doesn’t matter anymore. All that matters is you and how you handle this time. Embrace it my friend. You’re going to come out the other end in better shape than ever. This happens to everyone, and if there is anyone I know that’s going to conquer the feelings you’re having right now, it’s Chris Peterson.”
I’d say that I was paraphrasing, but this is close to, if not exactly verbatim. I know because I listened to it 1000 times over the next few weeks.
If Rick had a party and invited 300 people, I wouldn’t make the list. However, he heard that I was going through a tough time and he called me. He butted into my business, and I’m forever grateful.
We tend to mind our own business quite a bit in our society. We’ve moved to neighborhoods with guards and cool names and exclusive memberships. We don’t sit at the community tables in Starbucks if one other person is sitting there. We look the other way when a homeless person is trying to find his next meal, even though we’d give him $5 if he asked. I don’t know why we act this way, but I think it limits our experiences of life and the potential of our society. I also think the term “minding my own business” is just code for “I don’t feel like doing anything to help”. I’m not pointing fingers … I’m that person described in the previous few sentences (except I live in an urban neighborhood).
What can we do? Well, just act. If a friend seemed a little down yesterday, give her a call today. If someone in your life is damaging their marriage, offer to talk and push him a little. If he doesn’t like it, that’s ok. If someone’s credit card is being declined at Chipotle, just pay for the guy’s meal.
Rick could’ve used the 90 seconds of his phone call for something else, and could’ve easily justified not calling me. We hadn’t talked in five years, and for all he knew I’d be offended that he was poking his nose into my business. But instead he kicked me on a day I needed kicking.
Rick passed away far too young in 2007. I shared this story a few times at the viewing of his funeral – a viewing I doubt I would’ve attended if he hadn’t butted into my business 10 years earlier. The story resonated with everyone that heard it: “Yep, that’s Rick.” Rick never minded his own business. He probably offended a few people, but I know he touched hundreds more… including this guy.
