About 20 years ago, my college girlfriend’s father told me that I needed to “stop and smell the roses”. I responded defensively with: “What do you mean? I smell the roses”. His answer was funny, quick, and correct … “I’ve seen you smell the roses, Chris. You run up to a rosebush, smell every rose in about 10 seconds, and then boast to anyone that will listen: ‘I smelled 31 roses. How many did you smell?’”
We had a good laugh. His comment was hilarious ... until it wasn’t. He was right. He was so right that I still think about it. He was so right that I’m writing about it over two decades later.
Well, last night I stopped. I was in Midtown Manhattan when I stopped, specifically on 34th and Eighth. I actually stopped and smelled the roses… and they smelled incredible.
I had just gotten off the phone with my wife and daughter – we were facetiming and I was having fun showing my three-year-old the endless lights in her namesake city. I hung up and my primary goal was to find a place to eat. I was starving. I started the day in Dallas, performed sales training for one of my favorite clients all morning, and hopped on a plane to NYC … I was hungry and on a mission, and that’s when it happened…
I was on the southeast corner of 34th and Eighth, waiting to cross 34th. That’s when it hit me. That’s when the timing of the traffic light, the cool November air, and the smell of Manhattan all forced me to wallow in the moment. (BTW, look for a post in the future about a Jack Welch story in which he beautifully uses the term “wallow”.) It was one of those “life moments”. I stood there in my favorite city and felt the wonder of my life.
I stopped and I smelled the roses – not every one of them, but I took my time. I stopped and swam in the gratitude that follows reflection … the pure reflection of one’s life and the gift of every breath. The gift of being a father to a healthy and perfect little girl; the gift of being a husband to a woman that made me understand for the first time in my life that I was already good enough; the gift of being a son to a woman who adopted me out of foster care and loved me as much as any human could love another; and the gift of stopping … truly stopping and being nowhere else. It was an amazing moment.
I’m a pretty grateful and happy guy. I deal with challenges like everyone else, but I’m pretty lucky in being able to identify the positive aspects of a situation and appreciate how much I’ve been blessed. That’s not the point of this post – it’s not about gratitude. The point of this post is about stopping and absorbing the gratitude. Although I’m appreciative all the time, I’m giving thanks as I’m rushing from task to task, from event to event, from rental car return to my flight. I understand my gratitude, but I don’t absorb it … I don’t feel it. The only way to be engrossed in gratitude is to stop, and let it take over. That’s what I did last night, and it was an awesome reminder that I need to stop more often.
If you’re reading this post, then there is a high probability that you have a whole lot for which you could be grateful – you have a whole lot of roses to smell. Regardless of the temporary crap you might be battling, your overall forecast is probably positive. Stop and smell it. Stop and think about it. Stop and write it down. Stop and wallow in it. Stop. Just stop and smell the roses.
