It’s December 14th, so I thought it would be appropriate to post something fun. Aren’t you tired of reading about sales and marketing? It’s the holidays, right? So here it goes…
I’m an addicted eavesdropper. I frequently find myself in public settings by myself and find it easy to listen to other people’s conversations. Yes, I know it’s rude, but when you’re in as many different coffee shops, airports, and restaurants as I am, you get bored.
Along the way, I’ve realized that the English language is used differently that it is defined. Although the title of this post implies that Millennials and Generation Z are the guilty grammarians, this challenge of the spoken word is not exclusive to any age. Of course, younger people use more slang terms than older people, but I’m not talking about slang. I’m talking about regular words and terms that are used incorrectly. So, I thought it would be fun to list my eight favorite misuses of English, and provide a translation and example of each. Of course, this is all in fun …
- “Absolutely”.
Translation: When someone wasn’t listening to you but wants you to think they completely endorse what you just said.
Example:
Person 1: “… Sorry for that five-minute explanation, but I’m passionate about this topic.”
Person 2: “Absolutely.”
- “Epic”.
Translation: When someone uses epic, that means something happened. It doesn’t mean that the event or object is relevant, important, or “epic” - it just means that it exists.
Example: “That movie was epic.”
- “All adverbs”.
Translation: The descriptor that is required to enhance any adjective. In the last few years, I think a global English law was enacted that no adjective could be stated without being preceded by an adverb.
Example: Instead of “She is a great tennis player.” one should state: “She is an unbelievably great tennis player.”
- “Literally”.
Translation: This word means nothing but is required to be used in every sentence stated by any person under the age of 35.
Example: “I am literally typing on my keyboard right now.”
- “Actually”.
Translation: When something is, then “actually” is positioned before it in a sentence. “Actually” is similar to “literally” in that it means nothing, and is often used when someone feels too mature to use literally.
Example: “She actually got dressed this morning before leaving for work.”
- “That is all”.
Translation: This term is often used to close out an argument. While the proper method is to add a period to the end of the last sentence, many modern philosophers believe that their readers and listeners want more from them, so they feel compelled to notify their disciples “that is all”.
Example: “ … and that’s why I think the college football playoff system sticks. That is all.”
- “I mean like”.
Translation: Before Fox Sports started the evolution to zero silence during events, there were gaps in sentences. No really, there were moments of silence during dialogue. Today, where that silence used to be has been substituted with the phrase “I mean like”.
Example: While it used to be acceptable to say: “I’m not sure.” <Gap of silence for three to five seconds.> “I hope that I would act honestly.” Today, this message should be communicated as: “I’m not sure. I mean like - I hope that I would act honestly.”
- “Amazing”.
Translation: When something or someone can be described as slightly above average or better, it’s “amazing”.
Example: When describing a pretty good meal: “That dinner was amazing.”
I hope you enjoyed this absolutely epic post. It’s not one of our best, but I literally mean like, it was amazing. Happy Holidays everyone. That is all.
