On the Saturday before Mother’s Day, a friend of mine’s 13-year-old son went missing. It happened at about 4:00 in the afternoon in the Tampa area, so I went to sleep that night thinking (hoping) that everything would be ok in the morning. It wasn’t. He was still missing, and it was Mother’s Day. The local Sheriff’s Department, media, and dozens of friends and family were helping in the search. My Facebook and Twitter were almost exclusively full of updates and posts about this awful scenario. After we celebrated a Mother’s Day lunch with all the moms in our family, I took a short nap. When I woke up, there it was all over Facebook: “We found him! He’s ok!”
As I was coming downstairs, I was pumping my right fist in the air, while controlling an under-my-breath screaming of: “Yes, m’er f’er, yes!” (I don’t know why I say this when I get excited, but I do. I’m actually a pretty polite guy with a clean mouth – except when I get excited.) I was so over-the-top happy that I needed to walk the dog to release some energy. BTW, I don’t think I’ve ever met this kid, but his dad is a fraternity brother of mine, and I care about him; and quite candidly … any parent in that scenario.
I hadn’t had a feeling of exuberance like this in a while. Not because my life has been bad, but on the contrary, because life has been so amazing. What I’ve realized – one of those obvious realizations that I should’ve already known – is that our level of happiness or sadness is not related to how good or bad our situation is. For most of us, it’s related directly to the change in our situation. One minute a 13-year-old boy is missing. The next minute he is safe with his family. That night, his family was no different than most families – they were home together with each other. But I bet they were hugging and appreciating each other infinitely more than most other families. Not because of their situation, but because of the drastic change in situation.
My life is awesome. I’ve been blessed. An unfortunate outcome of my blessings is that I don’t experience many of those feelings of liveliness any more. How much better can my life get? I was raised by two of the most supportive parents a little boy could have. I’ve got the coolest wife on the planet, the most perfect daughter, and a stimulating and successful business. How much better can it get? If I won the lottery tomorrow, I wouldn’t be fist-pumping like I was last Sunday. I’d be happy, but not crazy-happy. It really wouldn’t add much to what I already have.
Where am I going with this? Well, I don’t want my friends to have to lose their kids for me to throw fist pumps in the air again. I don’t want to have to get sick to appreciate my health. I don’t want my wife to leave me to know what I have. I’ve built an unbelievable life. I’m happy with it, but I don’t run around the block head-butting my neighbors when we win a contract like I used to. Why? Because we don’t need contracts to pay bills any more. In 2010 and 2011, every contract meant that we were going to pay the mortgage for another few months. We’re in a good spot now. If we win a new client, that’s great, but it’s not going to change too much in our lifestyle. Six years ago, it kept us fed. So, what’s the answer?
I don’t know if there is one right answer, but I think it has something to do with falling in love with the process of life … with the mundane tasks that make up most of our days. I’ve heard how much Tom Brady likes the workouts in February and March; how Jimmy Page is happiest in the studio by himself; and how George Carlin embraced the hours of practice and visualizing before getting on stage. I bet Meryl Streep would perform at a high school play if her agent let her. These talented people, and millions of others throughout history, have had success and happiness because they found joy in the mundane processes of life… and they enjoyed every bit of it.
So, I commit to appreciating my four workouts every week. I’m going to throw out a few “yes m’er-f’er yes” whenever a potential client returns an email or phone call. I’m going to fall in love with my morning routine again. I’m going to do my best to not only appreciate my current position in life, but enjoy what I have. I’m going to enjoy the process for what it is, not for what it is today compared to yesterday.
