I’m in my home office at about 7:40 am on Father’s Day. My wife and daughter are still sleeping. I’m pretty excited about the day ahead – my wife bought a TV for me for our new outside dining and sitting area, we’re heading to Crooked Can Brewery later for lunch with a couple friends and their families, the US Open is set up for an awesome Sunday (if they finish), the Gators are playing in the College World Series, and tonight is game seven of the NBA Finals. Not a bad Father’s Day ahead for this guy.
When I was little, I thought Father’s Day was all about letting my dad sleep in – which he never did. As I grew into being a teenager, I thought it was about buying my dad funny gifts that I could afford and we could laugh about. After he passed away, I thought it was a day to remember him and appreciate him.
Wikipedia states that Father’s Day is a celebration honoring fathers and celebrating fatherhood, paternal bonds, and the influence of fathers in society. It is chiefly a celebration in the United States, though becoming popular in other countries. After researching a little more, I realized that Father’s Day was pretty much designed to complement Mother’s Day. So, I thought I could take this flexibility and run with it. You see, as a father, I realize that I had it all wrong and that it’s much more than all of these things.
Right now, as I hear my daughter running around upstairs waking up my wife and our dog, I know what it’s about. I feel what it’s about, and the feeling is more powerful than any gift can give me.
Father’s Day reminds me that being a father is the most important role I have. It’s not about sleeping in, it’s about waking up before everyone else to provide for my family. Not just provide resources, but also provide security, confidence, and an example. When my wife quit working to raise our daughter during her first year, I was a bit stressed – everything we ate came from what I killed. No salary, no benefits … it was up to me. One of my best friends, Rod Whited, greeted me at a Gator football game and the first thing he asked: “Isn’t it awesome? You’re taking care of your family. It’s all on you. Isn’t that a powerful feeling?” I thought: “Not as powerful as the dry heaving I do every morning.” As his words settled in over the next few weeks, my anxiety and doubt turned to power. Yes, he was right. Like Eminem wrote … “Success is my only gosh darn option” (except he didn’t use the words “gosh darn”). Although my wife is back to work, this reminder every year on the third Sunday of June is perfect. This reminder that I’m my daughter’s father and that I am her support for this world, above and beyond anything else I do or am, really is powerful.
Father’s Day isn’t about watching the U.S. Open. It’s about turning off the U.S. Open and talking or playing with my daughter. It’s about watching Scooby Doo (which will likely happen) after she wakes up from her nap.
Father’s Day isn’t about drinking too many beers and cutting loose at lunch, even though my wife has offered to drive home. It’s about enjoying the time with our friends, but also knowing that I have to have my wits to protect my family.
Father’s Day isn’t about receiving gifts (although I love the framed photo my niece Tracy gave me and the TV). Father’s Day is about accepting appreciation from my daughter. Even though she doesn’t really know that this is all about, she knows its Father’s Day and I have gifts. To me, it’s about her understanding the joy that comes from giving.
In short, Father’s Day isn’t about us. It’s about them. It’s about my daughter, and your sons and daughters. It’s a celebration of the privilege and responsibility we have to be men, to be husbands, to be fathers, and to be daddies. It’s an opportunity to rejoice in having a purpose – a purpose beyond earning a promotion, beating your 5K personal record, or watching every episode of Game of Thrones. I hope all of you enjoy today and when you read this on Thursday you have a smile thinking back a few days.
