At the gym last summer, a gentleman approached me and asked if I was using the squat rack that was next to me. We both had headphones in our ears, so when I say he asked me, this is actually how it went:
- Strange guy taps me on the shoulder and points to the squat rack.
- I nod my head.
- Within a second, I realize that I don’t need the squat rack because I was just stretching. I say: “I don’t need it – I’m just stretching.” Although he’s three feet away, he’s heading in the other direction and doesn’t hear me because of his headphones. He finds another rack, and I keep stretching.
So, I start pondering and reflecting like I always do. Besides a neighbor or two, I don’t talk to anyone at my gym. I put in my headphones when I get there and keep them in until I get to my car to leave. And so does everyone else. Don’t get me wrong – I love it. I’ve listened to about 80 books (just did a rough count on my Audible account), at least 100 podcasts, and hundreds of hours of Pandora. But I don’t talk to any of my fellow gym rats, and that’s kind of sad.
I kept pondering. I thought: “You know, I don’t really talk to anyone, anywhere.” I travel all over the world for business, but I put in my headphones to engage in my music / books / podcasts, and to avoid small talk with strangers. Over the last 20 plus years, I’ve been to at least 1,500 cool coffee shops or pubs in five continents, but all I’ve seen inside those places is my computer screen. I run outside twice a week, but I had no idea about my surroundings. Don’t get me wrong – I’ve always been a fully-engaged friend and conversationalist. However, during all those in-between times, I had become absorbed in my own little world – whether I had on headphones, was working on my laptop, or thinking of my next amazing idea.
I decided to do something about it. I thought about my day-to-day experiences, what I was missing, and what I enjoyed. For example, I liked listening to my music when I’m running; and it helps me. However, I also wanted to hear the animals near the lakes around which I run; so, I keep out my headphones until I need some music to get me going. I wanted to take in the atmosphere of these awesome coffee shops and pubs that I can visit, but I also have work to do. So, I do my work, then instead of leaving and rushing back to my hotel, I sit there for a while – maybe ordering another beer or espresso, maybe watching a game, and even striking up a conversation with a stranger. My favorite thing to do in these places is read a local newspaper. Seriously, I love it – I just sit there and read about the local high school sports and politics. I wanted to know the faces of the people that arrive to the gym at 5:30 every morning like I do. Even if we didn’t talk, I decided to share a smile with them every morning, so that’s what I do now – I walk around smiling like Buddy the Elf, and I love it. In short, I wanted to see the world unfold. These small changes, and my awareness, have enabled me to do so.
I’ve gotta go. I’m done writing for the day, and this place has a killer IPA (Good People brewery out of Birmingham, AL).
