My flight was delayed earlier today because of mechanical issues. The airline gave everyone a meal certificate to any restaurant in the concourse. I wasn’t hungry. I ate breakfast earlier and just had a protein bar. In fact, I was kind of full. When I took my food pass, I actually had the conversation with myself about using it. “If they didn’t give this to you, would you eat right now?” “Why are you walking toward this Cheeburger Cheeburger?” “ Would you rather be miserably uncomfortable or waste the $8 coupon?” Guess what? I gobbled down a chicken tender plate before I could answer. It’s free man, stop judging me!
When I arrived at my destination in Plattsburgh, NY and checked into my hotel, I was given a certificate for a free craft beer at their in-house brewery. I didn’t need a beer. I had work to do – after all, I spent the day waiting on a plane. I also needed sleep. I was getting up a little before 5:00 to catch a workout before an all-day strategy session. Who cares if it’s free? Why do I do these stupid things? I’m not cheap – anyone that has met my wife knows that it’s fundamentally impossible for me to be cheap. Ooops, it’s gone – I just finished a pretty good IPA.
That really happened today and now I’m sitting here writing about it because I’m curious – why are we so obsessed with free things?
I don’t know about the rest of you, but I feel a bit of relief when I receive a free coupon to something that I want, but shouldn’t have. I really wanted to try that IPA, but if I paid for it then I would’ve felt guilty about the conscious decision I made to have a beer when I should be catching up on work. However, I got it for free. It was my obligation to try their in-house brew. Who was I to insult these people? I’m not the guilty one – the evil 5’1” lady behind the desk should be tried, not me.
I should mention that I’m a snob with some free stuff. I won’t go to a free concert. Have you ever been to a free concert? Every idiot in town shows up – and they bring their kids … to a concert … at 11:00 pm … and they’re hammered (not the kids, the parents). I won’t eat or drink something I don’t like if it’s free. I was at a event a few years ago where the wine was terrible. I walked out to the main bar in the hotel and paid about $15 per glass for my wine. No one knew the difference.
So for me, I get excited about free stuff when it removes the guilt of doing something that I probably shouldn’t be doing. How about you? Are you one of those people that goes to basketball games wearing a $225 Tommy Bahama shirt, but knock old ladies out of the way when they shoot those cheap t-shirts into the audience? Do you sit through three hours of a Glengarry Glen Ross scene listening to a time share presentation, just to get two free nights at a resort next to Sea World and a microwave that analyzes the stock market?
Anyway, I need to get to bed. I’m sitting here with six chicken tenders and 16 ounces of IPA inside of me that shouldn’t be there … but it was free!
